Healing

Lately I have been considering and wrestling with the idea of healing.  When we are in pain (both physical and emotional) it feels like the healing will never come.  We find ourselves in this deep pit, alone, confused, covered in sorrow and shame, broken and abandoned.  I was in that place for a really, really long time.  My heart was broken, my soul shattered to pieces, my mind covered in darkness.  Glimmers of hope would sparkle on the horizon of my life at times; but at the end of the day as I crawled between the sheets of my bed I would feel the weight on my back and I would whisper prayers under my breath praying for daylight to come and take away my pain.  Eventually my prayers would be answered.  The sun would rise and I would climb out of bed, take on the day (forgetting about my brokenness), and live life as I always had.  Then the sun would fall, the moon would rise, the clouds would cover the stars and my heart would sink.  

Life has changed drastically for me over the course of the past three months or so.  GOD IS GOOD!  Somehow I have begun to learn and accept what it means to be soaked in redemption.  I have stepped back and taken in the goodness that is grace, love, hope, joy, and healing through faith and friendship.  Instead of sitting quietly and letting words of reconciliation and repair pass over my head I looked up, lifted my hands, grabbed hold, and carried them with me.  I have taken the leap into filling my pockets with hope and affirmation.  I have begun to open my eyes and see the truth of God and what He has given me.  

Acts 9:17-19 tells about a moment when a broken man found healing, redemption, and true sight because Jesus sent him the Holy Spirit.  "... Placing his hands on Saul, he said, 'Brother Saul, the Lord - Jesus, who appeared to you on the road as you were coming here - has sent me so that you may see again and be filled with the Holy Spirit.'  Immediately, something like scales fell from Saul's eyes, and he could see again.  He got up and was baptized...."  Here is something important to know about Saul: he was a persecutor, murderer, and thief to Christians.  He hated them, he hated the Gospel, and he punished anyone and everyone who stood up for Jesus and His message.  God blinded Saul and let him experience pain for three days.  He was blind, thirsty, and starving.  Little did Saul know that God was there with him the whole time.  And not only was God there, but God knew when the suffering was going to come to an end.  Saul needed to experience that suffering so he could discover the beauty of redemption and the healing power of faith in the Gospel.  After a period of time grace and love fell over Saul and he carried that with him for the rest of his life.  

I feel a lot like Saul.  I know I didn't do anything like murder and pillage others, but I was trapped in the guilt and shame of my sin.  I was trapped behind a veil that covered my eyes and my heart to the beauty of truth, acceptance, and love that comes with taking in the sights that come with faith and trusting in the Gospel.  But, life has taken a turn.  Somehow the pain has dissolved.  That time has come to an end.  Not to say that it is gone forever - that would be silly.  Pain will always exist.  Someone will always be struggling, and there will be times when that someone is me.  What is important for me (and you) to remember is that it really is only for a period of time.  It may be shorter or longer than we think, but the end will come.  Darkness will be pierced by light, grace and love will cover our brokenness, and we will find joy in healing.