Good Feeling

This morning I arrived at school discouraged (which is silly because I was so happy yesterday!). I had no desire to leave the sunshine outside to sit in a concrete building. I had no desire to focus on anything. I just wanted to sit outside and let the apathy that had seeped into my heart as I woke up melt away slowly. Little did I know I would find so much encouragement while I was inside the basement of Miller Hall.

I am in the computer lab inbetween classes, minding my own business working on a project and all of a sudden I am flooded with encouragement. My dad sent me a really affirming e-mail, which God love him, he doesn't do often, my friend Kyle texted me about playing frisbee golf, my favorite Regena Spektor song came on over my iPod, a walk with a friend has been planned for tomorrow afternoon, my friend Laura is letting me borrow her pen (because I once again forgot to bring one to class), and now my favorite 'God moment' song is flowing through my headphones. Suddenly my heart is lighter, my attitude has changed, and I am ready to face the world of winter quarter academics. All this in the last half-hour.

Earlier this week at SHOP (a student leader encouragement/accountability/check-in time thingy at the INN) we talked about apathy and inspiration. My current state finds me coming out of a long couple weeks of apathy, and this morning I found nothing but frustration in myself because I was slipping back into that un-motivated, depressed state (which frustrates me mostly because I cannot find a specific reason good enough to be sad over). But now, all in just a few moments of time, I have been released back into the state of a light heart ready for action. In the words of my friend Seth Tucker "God is moving in me and changing me, and I can see it". Sometimes God moves like crashing ocean waves in our hearts and lives, shaking us into the reality of grace and redemption. Other times He moves like a gentle breeze, subtle but undeniably present. I like that He moves both ways - and I like that I can notice both.

Oh this feeling right now is so good. I like it. Hope you get to feel this way, too.